i am not another stupid little teenage fucking WHORE [entries|friends|calendar] Choke on This [ website | You & I Colide<333 ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

All i saw was eyes && teeth<3 [06 Jun 2005|03:30pm] [ mood | hot ] [ music | RAP PARTY !! ] NEW JOURNAL = q_and_not_you add it ♥ new summer, new journal loves<333 buried a lie

This war was Worth it... [07 May 2005|12:23pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | Akon ] Last night = Amazing ♥ i got to see ♥ Joey ♥ i hung out with ♥ Joey ♥ , Kellie, Dom, Mike, & Mitch. At one point Me & Mike took Doms car and left everyone at Kellies house, and we went ride around. I was going to show him this persons house but i didnt. We then went back, and picked up ♥ Joey ♥ & Mitch. Kellie & Dom stayed in Kellies room together. We went to 711, got ciggs and what not. rode around and what not. did some stuff<3 Then went back & chilled for a little. didnt get it til real late. and im really tired right now. and there was more, but i dont feel like writing.. Last night, Dan & his friend Johnboy decided to call me. Cause Dan wanted to say hi to me. pshh 2 buried a lie

Put The Knife back in the medicane cabinet [02 May 2005|10:24pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | Q&NotU ] Tell me what the fuck i still like this fucking kid. today he told me: He was paid to go out with me for 6 months. made 600 dollars. He never loved me. When he cried to me, he faked it to look real. So id stay with him. I look like a fucking troll. i was a waste of time. DannyNapolean: listen dont talk to me i hv a real g/f now im out peace yeah thats what he fucking said to me. i dont care who the fuck you are, you dont fucking say the shit he says to me. I remember one time he knows how to make people feel like shit. i wish he never fucking moved here. he should have stayed in sayreville. i wish i never fucking meet him. i wish i never talked to him. im fucking pissed. he lies about everything. i dont know whats true and whats not. its fucking bullshit. i dont know what to fucking say about this kid. i have never been hurt like this before. Noone has ever said stuff to me like he does. yeah im going to miss him. he was everything to me. i was nothing to him. i was just a way to kill time in the winter. i was fucking nice to this kid. i treated him like fucking god why the fuck did i do that?! why did i think he would be fucking different. why did i think he would be perfect. why did i think he was sweet. i should have listened to Matt. god i always knew he was fucking right. i knew it would happen. but i didnt want to believe it. Danny changed alot. He said this is the reall him. alot of his friends down here that i know dont like it. he doesnt care. oh well. people i know what to kick his ass. they should, itll only be what the 4th 5th 6th.. who know This kid thinks mentally abusing someone is funny. He thinks its cool, cause its not hurting him at all. He just gets a fucking kick out of it. No matter what he says, The tears he cried, The things he said, The things he use to do, we fucking real. no matter what he says. i hope this fucking summer he grows up. and acts his fucking age. instead of being a little kid about things. and lying about anything and everything. even when he doesnt have to. im done. 2 buried a lie

We Belong Together</3 [01 May 2005|11:09pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | Mariah Carey - We Belong Together ] i lost danny forever. he likes another girl, he doesnt love me anymore. he thinks this other girl is the hottest thing in the world, and he loves her so much. i cant believe he changed so much.. i miss the old him. after everything that happened tonight ; i still love him. Always will. This spring break he didnt think about me or miss me at all. he didnt want to hang out with me tonight. He thinks im ugly. Sometimes he wants to go out with me. Sometimes he doesnt. i wish i could turn back time and go back to 1011. i would have done so much stuff different. i wouldnt have let my gard down. I thought he was different. i thought we could be together forever. i thought he was so perfect. i stil think he is. i still want him. i want him to be mine. but i lost him for good. My dad doesnt want me seeing him. i dont care what he says. noone knows how much danny means to me. After everything he has done to me, he is still my everything after all the hurt that i have gone through in the last two months, i still manage to say I Love Daniel Macias Everyone tells me to forget him, hes an ass. Hes not worth it. But noone knows what me and him had. We had this relastionship that you would dream about. Then one day it all changed. WHY THE FUCK DID I LET MY GARD DOWN I Feel inlove with this kid. i was willing to give up so much. i lost friends for him. When i went over there he wouldnt even talk to me. He just wanted to talk to that girl he likes. and the girl he thinks is amazing. i remember when he thought i was amazing. i remember when he told me we fit together like a puzzel. i said that to him and all he has to say to that was "I heard it in a movie" I thought he loved me, i thought nothing would go wrong with us. I seriously thought we would Last forever. i dreamed about the future with him. i thought he thought about the same.. Well he use to say he did. but not anymore. im never going to get over him. i know it. now this week hes going to go to school. And to see him is going to kill me. i remember always walking with him, holding his hand. His classes are kind of near mine. And so is his bus. I remember always taking his bus, and sitting with him and him putting his arm around him. And i remember kissing on the buss, and always getting butterflies whenever i kissed him. i will never find anyone like him. noone can compare to him seriously. he doesnt care what i have to say. he wants nothing to do with me. i seriosuly wish i could go back in time and go back to when me and him were happy together and had no other worries. It pissed him off when i cried. but what did he want me to. i love him. and he was always acting like he had mixed feelings for me. He called me names. and played jokes on my that killed me. I want everything to go back to normal. God. i remember the old times. just sitting in his room watching tv, and talking alot. Hanging out and just having funn. We had a relastionship that was like a friendship too. he was always there when i needed someone to talk to. He was there when i had problems with my dad. and he was there when i got upset about my dog. he always cheered me up. This is the song i dedicate to him:: I didn’t mean it when I said I didn’t love you so I should have held on tight I never should have let you go I didn’t know nothing, I was stupid, I was foolish I was lying to myself I couldn’t have fathomed I would ever be without your love Never imagined I’d be sitting Here beside myself Guess I didn’t know you Guess I didn’t know me But I thought I knew everything I never felt Pre-Chorus 1 The feeling that I’m feeling Now that I don’t hear your voice Or have your touch and kiss your lips Cause I don’t have a choice Oh what I wouldn’t give To have you lying by my side Right here cause baby Chorus 1 When you left I lost a part of me It’s still so hard to believe Come back baby please cause We belong together Who else am I gonna lean on when times get rough Who’s gonna talk to me on the phone Till the sun comes up Who’s gonna take your place There ain’t nobody better Oh baby baby We belong together Verse 2 I can’t sleep at night When you are on my mind Bobby Womack’s on the radio Singing to me “If You Think You’re Lonely Now” Wait a minute this is too deep I gotta change the station So I turn the dial tryin’ to catch a break And then I hear Babyface “I Only Think Of You” and it’s breakin’ my heart I’m tryin’ to keep it together but I’m falling apart Pre-Chorus 2 I’m feeling all out of my element Throwing things, crying tryin’ To figure out where the hell I went wrong The pain reflected in this song Ain’t even half of what I’m feeling inside I need you, need you back in my life baby ill love daniel napolean macias ; until the day i die. nothing or noone can ever change that. 2 buried a lie

Caring Is Creepy [30 Apr 2005|07:46pm] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | Garbage / The Shins ] Well eveything is messed up. Danny is hurting me alot. One Monday, all these horrible things were said to me on his Screen name. he told me it wasnt him. he said he was surfing that night. i believe him. Last Sunday i went up to Sayreville to see him. I went with my friend Sammy<3. Well he didnt talk to me the whole time i was there, because i was with her. He wanted me to go up to him and talk to him. Alright whatever. Dane talked to me. And Dans friend Johnny and Jessy said hi to me. Not even my own fucking boyfriend could say fucking hi to me. I looked at him at one point and he smiles at me. Okay why couldnt he wave me over or something. I came all the way up there to see him and he just didnt talk to me. I dont care who the hell im with, thats not right. He should have done something to talk to me. Then he went to The pizza place, Me and Sam went with Dane and Jessy to Shoprite. Then we went to the Pizza place and he wouldnt even look at me and when we went in he was like "wtf i wanted to be alone" and then when i was leaving i was like "danny" no answer "danny?" -"what!" Then i was like "can i talk to you?" he was like "What im right here" and then i was just like "okay well im leaving" and all he said was "Okay" no kiss no bye nothing. Just okay. I left cring. What the hell was i suppost to do. then last sunday. he was at johnnys house. And i got called a dirty slut becuase i flirst with Dans friends. when i only talk to one of them and thats Dane. And someone kept pranking me, i think it was Johnny and Dan. But Dan says it was Jessy. And then Dan called me later, like right after the prank calls stoped. So idk. He said it wasnt him. idk. we really havent talked much since there. then two nights ago. he was with his friend Mike and Mike called me and told me that Dan treats me like shit and told me i shouldnt put up with it. And that Dans a dick to me. And all this other stuff. And then 15 mins later Dan sent me a text say "im dont, were done" and all this. and then he said he was just kidding about it. The next morning he texted me and wrote "Can we go back to normal" second text "like when we always had fun and didnt do anything" and then today i found out he left me a fuckin comment on my picture saying "Ugly as Hell". like seriously what the fuck. i dont understand him. He wants to go back to normal but he left me that commnt. Ive been so nice to Dan, and the last couple weeks hes been changing. Like really bad. Alot of people noticed it. And Alot dont like it. He Changed. He might not think so but he change to a different person. I miss my old danny. I miss the boy who would always call me. And the boy who always wanted to hang out with me. The boy who always said i love you. The boy who always wanted to bring me places with him. The fucking boyfriend that use to show me and acted nice towards me and always showed me he cared. The boy who would always miss me and want to hang out with me. And would love spending time with me. The boy he didnt fucking call me names. Now its different. He doesnt really call. He doesnt say i love you. He never asks to hang out. He acts like he doesnt even miss me. i sent him a text, and i said "yeah right you change back into the old danny rhats bull. i cant believe i believed you. im seriously pissed at you" he has texted me back. he said hes going to live up in sayreville for now on. wtf. why the hell is he going to do that. He doesnt want to see me? i understand skatings up there, but seriously come on. I want him to seriously go back to the Danny i meet sept 17th. and i want him to go back to he danny i feel inlove with. This kid was the sweetest boy in the world. After the 5th month he started to act different but in the last 3 weeks he changes ALOT. Like i feel like i dont even know him anymore. i love him alot still. and i always will. i seriously wish things would go back to normal. i just want us to be happy again. i want us to go back to how we use to be. i doubt hell read this. but i need to get all this out. Comment if you have a comments on all of this<3 I <3 Daniel buried a lie

You & I Colide<3333 [22 Apr 2005|08:12pm] [ mood | loved ] [ music | Howie Day ] this week was really rough. i was so upset. Well i thought Me & Danny were over for good. But i was wrong. im am so happy i was wrong. i dont know what i would do with out him with me. We broke up on Sunday, we didnt really talk much Monday or Tuesday.. Then Wedesday we hung out, * at first he kind of ignored me, then he was kind of mean to me, i cried like a little pussy. But then we kissed, and everything started to look brighter<3. I asked him why he broke up with me, and he said it was cause of his job, right after work he would go skating. And he said we wouldnt see eachother alot. :( .. Later that night i asked him if we would really have to wait til he quit his job to go back out. And he said no. I couldnt stop smiling. Then me & him didnt talk til around 9 on Thursday. And he said he was going to bed, and i asked him if we could hang out on Monday and he said sure. THEN<3 NJ R0LLIN521: i hv a ? icancutmustard: okayy NJ R0LLIN521: will NJ R0LLIN521: you NJ R0LLIN521: be NJ R0LLIN521: my NJ R0LLIN521: g/f icancutmustard: are you serios NJ R0LLIN521: Y NJ R0LLIN521: E NJ R0LLIN521: S icancutmustard: serious* NJ R0LLIN521: Y NJ R0LLIN521: E NJ R0LLIN521: S icancutmustard: yeah NJ R0LLIN521: thats all i get is a yeah icancutmustard: danny napolean macias i would love to be your girlfriend i accept <33 Yess NJ R0LLIN521: YYYYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! god. i was sooo happy<3 i hope nothing bad goes wrong anymore. I really think that danny is the one. Like everything weve been through makes me relized that more and more. Well Danny quit his job today, and after break hes going back to school<33 im excited about that. i miss not walking with him, and seeing him after every class. School wasnt the same without him there. But i cant wait til he goes back :) .. This weekend im probably just going to be lazy and sit on my butt & eat. I Hope danny comes home on Sunday cause i really want to hang out with him. i hope he doesnt go skating alllll week. if he does ill just have to deal with it. I was hoping Spring Break Me & Danny could have a lovely sleep over but idk if that will happen. well im going to lay down now. maybe dan will call me tonight if hes not too busy. Danny & Stacey Macias<3 it looks & sounds sooo nice :) 1 buried a lie

[18 Apr 2005|06:08pm] [ mood | Crying ] this is what i said to danny, but he wouldnt read it.. danny i dont know what happen.. just last week you were saying i love you.. On the bus that one day when i kicked matt you said "i dont know what i would do without you" and Just last weekend when you got into that fight with you mom, i was right there trying to help you idk if i was helping or not. but i was there and i asked you if you want to break up and you said no theres nothing better. and then when we got back together you wrote that note saying you dont know why you wanted that break .. and you and i colide .. and how you missed us.. this weekend im sorry i annoyied you.. i didnt know you didnt want me not to text you all weekend other wise i wouldnt have. i really hope you still love me, and i hope maybe we can sort some of this out.. And i hope you dont really like Ally that way. you mean so much to me danny, without you i feel so lost. remember we fit together like a puzzel.. and remember all the times we had together.. do you just want to throw it all away like that.. Yeah i know i get you mad but im sorry.. i thought i put a smile on your face and made you laugh alot. i try too .. i love being with you danny, you make me soo happy inside you have no idea.. Remember that day that you cried with me, and said that it feels like i have been there forever. And remember that time at you house awhile ago when we got into a hug fight and you yelled at me and told me to leave you house and never come back you dont want to see me.. And then we settled it. and we watch the brave little toster, and i feel asleep and you started to cry cause you were worried about messing things up with us. Danny. i love you. I was looking in my math notebook and i read something you wrote to me Stacey + Danny <3 Forever. You one the first one to say you wanted to marry me, and you wanted to be with me for a long time. And we said that together for the longest time. i hope your feelings didnt just change lke that. My wont ever. i just want to settle this. You mean so much to me.. Remember that one time i went to the skate park for you, and i sat in the cold for like 5 hrs. just for you, just cause i love you, my parents said they would have come picked me up but i didnt go cause i wanted to stay with you and watch you skate cause i like watching you. Then remember we went to dinner with your family and remembe that fat lady that sat behind us. lol, and how you took a fork, maybe it was just cause you knew i was going to ask you to, but you remembered before i did. and you took one before i asked you. and then in the car you rested your head on my leg, and we kind of laid down together. Then when we went to dinner with my parents and everyone on easter and then we went to your house after and when we ate with your parents i didnt ask for the butter cause i was scared to lol .. and remember our sleep overs lol .. we watched saw, and we woke up together in eachothers arms, and you said to me the first time "hows it feel to wake up to my face in the morning" and i said "amazing" and you said you cant wait til we wake up next to eachother everyday. And remember how we always like planed out where we were going to get married and how our wedding would be.. and what our house would look like.. And how you would be riding your skate board from place to place and i would be riding my moose around lol .. and how we were going to get 10 ferrets.. and like 4 dogs .. and we were going to have a room where noone goes in. And all that cool stuff, and you said you would bring me with you if you ever go on tour. Notice how i remember everything you say to me, cause everything you say to me means so much. I remember basically everything that we have talked about and that we have planed. and i wont forget them. they mean so much to me. And how you said that one times "once we make it to a year then it will be two years then three then so on" And the promise ring you got me. and how i skipped school and stayed home to hang out with you on valentines day, and remember you walked all the way to my house in the rain, and that really meant alot to me. And that one day i rode your moms bike all the way to your house just to see you on 51105. And the bubble bath we took together that day. And the showers that we have taken together. And all the times that we have falling alseep together. And we played in the snow that one day, and we shoved snow that one day, and my mom made us breakfast that one day. And that day at the fight i was there and i was hitting brett and everything, i tried my best. Cause i seriously started to hurt when i seen you bleed. Whatever happens to you happens to me. You are seriously like my other half. i have feelings for you that you dont even know about. I smile when i hear your name or i see your pic, or i read something you wrote to me. I get so happy. i know alot of girls like you, and i know i dont compare to any of them. and there is nothing i can do about that. i dont know how many times i have said this but danny i love you so much. and i dont know if any of this will help the situation. but ill try anything. If we cant go back out, can we atleast have what we had when we were on the break. I was still happy then, i was extremely happy but i was happy. i am only extremely happy unless im with you. Thats when i can smile from ear to ear, and thats when my cheeks hurt from smiling so much. If you want me to stop asking so many question i will cause i relized i ask alot. and im sorry, i just have low self esteem.. i cant help that.. right now i have no self esteem. i feel like shit.. i dont want to make you feel bad or anything with this.. i dont know if you will read this whole thing, but im writing it anyway. We have had soo many times, and there might be more to come. Im willing to change for you danny. member that one night i cried like really bad when you were over my house cause i was afaird of losing you, and then you cried to cause you didnt like seeing me cried and you said to me "your never going to lose me, im never going to let you go" i remember that. we were laying in bed in the dark. well actually with my lava lamp on. And remember Christmas, when you got me that bear, the shirts, and the brother bear dvd, and remember what i got you.. The pool table thing, the socks, the shins shirt, and the timmy stuff toy.. my gifts werent even close to what you got me, but i tried.. And then News Years Eve we went out to the park, and then we came home ate and then we kissed at 12 and the next day i came over, and your mom had that party, and all your family wanted to meet me lol, and i was shy .. And like sometimes when you didnt go to school i would stay home too. And how we planed to have one or two sleep overs, during break.. And how you said when you get your car, youd pick me up and wed go to the park. Danny. im willing to go to the park every day. yesterday i went out back and i practice doing an olie i was comming close but then i feel .. but i got back up and i kept doing it, cause im dedicated to you, so im going to try to learn how to do what you love. so then me and you can talk about skating, and me and you can skate sometime. well ill stop here, cause i dont know if you will read this.. But im sorry for everything, i love you so much. i really dont want to lose you completely. [101104 - 4-17-05 Love Always & Forver Stacey buried a lie

[08 Apr 2005|04:36pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | Vampires will never hurt you ] well me and danny are back to normal .. i love him so much<33 well i just found out that this spring break im going to only hang out with dan ONCE. out of a whole week. once. even though my mom said i could sleep at his house it will be point less if were only going to hang out once. oh well .. with my friends i dont know.. i dont have a best friend really.. theres noone that i hang out with alot.. Pj we hardly talk. Kellie we talk like every other day. Caitlin we talk alot but main on the computer. Michelle talk to her every other day. and i really have no other friends. I talk to mairel alot, but we only hung out like once so i dont know. Mondays 6 months for me and danny<33 buried a lie

i didnt mean to fall inlove with [22 Mar 2005|09:01pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | Brand New. ] well he was just over, and it wasnt as good as i was hoping it would be. he doesnt act like he loves me seriously. The things he says and the things he does, seem to be hitting me alot harder now since were not together. Why wont he just go out with me? he says he loves me and what not? i dont understand it. God i really thought this wasnt ever going to happen to us. i thought he would love me forever and want to be with me forever. God i believe him, every word he said. i still do. But he keeps changing his mind. Its killing me. i love him very much. I really really do. Why is this happening. I still think were meant to be, i still think hes the only one for me. People say "Guys suck" "there scum" "there all the same" i always say.. THIS ONES DIFFERENT. Cause he is. Noone ever loved me like he did. Noone meant this much to me. I couldnt tell anyone half the stuff i tell him. It was perfect. I felt like i had a boyfriend and a best friend forever. I thought nothing would ever go wrong. God, it all came right back in my face. I dont think he seriously is ever going to love me like he use to, i dont think he is ever going to ask me out again. this is killing me. today when he wasnt in school, and he was out with his friends. I didnt mind. i really didnt. i was happy he was having fun and what not. He can go out with me and do that, it wont bother me. it really wont. i want him to be happy, even if that means i have to be sad. And dont worry im sad. I cant stop thinking about him. When he was over and he got mad over something, i was looking at a pic that was on my night stand and it was a pic of me and him together, and it made me cry. i had to lay it down. Dan might think im a freaking baby. but if he knew how i felt hed understand. i think the other day he called me a pussy cause i was crying. i cant help it i seriously cant. Every day i want to cry. Since this has happen, i cant eat as much i us to. I FUCKING WEIGHT 86 POUNDS ! i dont like it, and when i try to eat alot i cant. i just cant. its hard. i couldnt even eat the whole half of a shorty at wawa i got sick. i really just want danny to feel the way he felt about me 10~11~04<3 comment.. let me know what you think i should do.. 4 buried a lie

i love him so much<3 [22 Mar 2005|06:38pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Lonestar - Amazed by you<3 ] days are shitier and shitier. Dan hung out with Jamie and Lauren. He said he thought about me the whole time. And he was board, that made me happy. But then he told me when i was trying to call him Jamie had his phone and she kept hitting ignore. Sweet right. hah i still love danny very dearly, this is starting to feel like when we first started talking. And i would always wonder if and when he would ask me out. i wish he would ask me out today, each day thats is what i think about and wish. I even pray at night, i kneel down to the edge of my bed and i pray to god. i love him so much, i dont think anyone knows what this kid means to me. I love when he calls me, makes me think he wants to talk to me, and i love when he asks me to hang out. What im afaird of is him asking me out and then once were together, hell want alone time again.. i dont want that, i just want to be with him forever and always. He is the one i want to spend the rest of my life with him<3   i was loading my camra on to my computer and i seen this pic that danny took of us kissing.. not to long ago maybe a week or two ago. i love this pic. its my favor   well hes here now.. maybe ill get my wish.. probably not.. bye buried a lie

each day i love you more and more. [20 Mar 2005|05:21pm] [ mood | Upset & Lonely & Wishing ] [ music | Howie Day, From Autumn To Ashes, From First To Last ] PLease Read, i know its alot but this is what goes on in my head March 11th. i will never forget thoes words he spoke to me as we both cried. "were like a puzzle, were only two piece fit together. and thats mine and yours" Him"ill stop talk to all the girls that are my friends" Me-"No dont, they were here before i was" Him-"Some how i feel like youve been there forever" "i dont know what i would ever do without you" "i want to grow old with you, and when we die i want to be barred right next to each other so i know well always be with each other" that day we skipped school, i rode his moms big bike that he left at my house from another time we skipped and he came to my house. i rode it at 700 in the morning, just to be with him. Every moment with him is so perfect, i wish it would never end. i never thought i would love someone this much. i never thought not being with someone would tear me apart, make me night sleep at night. make me not eat for days. make me cry every night. Not being make me, care about him more and more. It leaves me lonely at night, each night without him makes me want to die more and more. im not like thoes emo people who want to kill themselfs everyday. But not being with danny leaves me with nothing, i have friends that will always be there but he was the best friend. he was like my other half. This whole thing has left me heart broken, each day i wish everything would go back to normal. He wants his time alone to skateboard cause he cant with a girlfriend, cause he thinks ill cheat on him and what not. but i wont. i wouldnt do that to him. When he goes away im not worried about other guys, id sit in my house and just wait to hear from him when he got home. Since weve started talking no guy has come in my mind, i havent thought about another guys. dannys the only one for me, i wish he could understand how i feel and i wish he would know and trust me that i wouldnt do anything with another guys. nothing in this world matters more to me than him. Hes everything to me and i dont want this to happen to us. the whole 5 months ive been so happy. We always talked about getting married, we talked about how our house would be and what pets we would get. it was so perfect. we talked about being together forever. year after year. I dont understand how someone can do that, and then just want alone time. i understand you need alone time but it doesnt mean you have to break up with someone you say you love so much, and thought about marrying. He always said that he would never dump me i would have to dump him no matter what. Someone that says i cant wait to wake up next to you everyday. When we had our sleep over that one weekend, we woke up together, went to sleep together, watched movies together. Weve played in the snow together, weve shoveled snow together, we went on a date, weve drawn together, plays a travial game on superbowl sunday, weve made a whole in my wall together. We both have boxes of eachother stuff. weve re-arranged my room together, weve watched stuff on my computer together, weve played donkey kong together, weve went to the store together, weve went out to dinner with my parents. weve dont everything together. i would i do anything to mess this up. How could this happen? 5 months and not one fight, so perfect and then all of a sudden this. i just want him to know, i want to be with him so bad. i want to be able to call him mine. i wouldnt ever cheat on him. why would i ever cheat on him, he is better than every guy out there, there is noone so perfect, noone so sweet, noone that makes me feel the way he does. i want to learn how to skateboard so bad, so then i could skate with him. id spend days and weeks trying to learn just for him. id sit at the skate park in below 0 weather just to watch him and watch him do what he loves, id get a ride there if he wanted me to. anything for him, id really do anything for him. He means that much to me. i have never felt this way before about anyone in my whole like. before danny. i never thought about getting married, i always said i wouldnt make that change in my life, i wouldnt want to spend everyday of my life with somone , i wouldnt want to take someone elses last name. That was all before him, when we first held hands i thought in my head, that our hands fit together so good, its meant to be i thought. 5 months and i still for butterflies. even today when i hung out with him, i kept getting butterflies. i have never felt like this before, the thought of try to go out with someone else makes me sick. i cant do this by myself, i cant go on without him. i feel weaker and weaker each day that goes by. I hope he loves me as much as he did when he first said i love you. He says im different thats why he went out with me. He says im still different and he still thinks im the one. Then how can this happen. Alone time is okay but not knowing if you want to get back with someone hurts, he might not be breaking hes heart but im heart is like destorys, its broke right down the middle. each day it rips into little peices. every time i see a romantic show were theres a marriage involed i always think about dan. The promise ring he gave to me mean everything to me. i will never take it off no matter what. he gave it to me on valentines day, when we skipped. And he walked in the rain to my house. i remember that. He must care about me, cause that was a little over a month ago. and he walked in the rain, his hoodie was shocked, when i seen him all wet i felt so specical he walked all the way from his house to mine just for me. it means alot to me. And when he meets me after every period it just makes my classes go by so much fast cause i cant wait to see him and walk with him. its the only reason i got to school and why i like to go. Just to see him. Im sorry i get jealous, but someone like him you just cant help it. hes so perfect everyone wants him, and i feel lucky to have him in my life. and when i was going out with him i felt even luckier. Its like something you fine, and hold close to your heart, and your think it gives you lucky thats why its always with you. Thats how danny was, but he was always in my heart and mind. He was always with me no matter what. Now i dont have that feeling, its like when he broke up with me, he took all my luck away. ill write more later. cause i have so much more i want to say. but noone that i wrote now, will change a thing. Stacey Macias & Danny Macias ; only in my dreams, does this come true 4 buried a lie

[08 Feb 2005|09:07pm] [ mood | loved ] [ music | Love is Red<33 ] update of what i can remember<3 Thursday Well i stayed home, cause i had a really bad stuffy nose. And i was losing my voice. Danny didnt go to school either cause he had to go visit his grandfather. When he got home he called me, and we just sat on the phone for the rest of the day. Friday Went to school. It was alright. Got home, my mom went to go pick up danny. we just hung out & Watched the Grugde. Danny was getting scared, he kept jumping. It was so cute. He told me to hold him to make him not scared<33 Saturday Danny came over. My mom brought my Taco Bell home. Then my gay dad came home. Got into a fight with my parents cause my mom put my sweater in the wash without telling me. Then me and Danny walked to Dollar General, and C+J dollar store. I bought myself a picture frame, sunflower seeds, danny poptarts, and a cute stuffed animal. Its so cute. We came home, he skated for a little. Then we went in a played video games for most of the night. it was so much funn.As Danny was leaving, Kellie came over for a little bit. Danny called me and we feel asleep on the phone together. Sunday Well again. Danny came over. Then Kellie came over. We hung out, me and Danny played video games. Kellie chilled on the computer. Kellie them left. Me and Danny ordered some D's<3 ate. Played a board game, and watched the game. Then he left later on, and we sat on the phone for an hour then we both went to sleep. i love this. since most of my friends ditched me for someone else, i have someone. Someone i know wont ditch me. I never get annoyed of Danny. Me and Danny havent got into a fight once. and its almost been 4 months. The best relastionship i have ever been in. Dannys not all about that wanting shit. Hes so sweet, and shows that he cares for me. And does things for me that make me feel so special. Im so inlove with Danny. i have never been this happy before with someone. I never want to lose danny. Hes my everything and more. Hes the only one for me and thats the way its going to stay. Theres noone else that i want to be with, theres noone who can compare to Danny. Hes so perfect. I Love My Boyfriend So Much<3 Hes my life. 2 buried a lie

[19 Jan 2005|01:06am] [ mood | loved ] [ music | I Can Cut The Mustard .. Well Enough<3 ] Everythings amazing<3 Me and Dan are doing so good<33 i love him so much its been 3 months and we have got into a fight once. its so amazing, when ever were together we have an amazing time. And i cant wait til Feb. cause Dannys going to sleep over my house heh its going to be so amazing<33 Well .. Dan wants to fight Matt & Brett .. not so much Brett anymore since brett said something to him. But i dont know why he wants to fight matt. But its okay, cause i wont let Dan touch Matt or Brett cause there my friends. Well lets see i only have a couple friends .. Pam is like me best friend now i tell her everything, and i mean everything. Taylor and i are getting really close i cant believe we stopped being friends cause of Dave hah. But that is soo funny me and Kirsten are still good friends, i love her<33 And Jp & Kim are my good friends i had fun in computers with Jp today lol . Then In Drvers Ed me and Ryan are becomming cloes friends, and thats veryyy cool i must say. i still dont talk to Peage, the other day he was suppost to call me on my cell.. but he never did.. i waited for that call, but i guess he was too busy.. i dont know what to do about that, We never talk anymore, its like we were NEVER friend and we were really close. He was like my other half. i hope one day everything sorts out, and we become like how we were.. thats it cause noone reads this, and comments i just right for my self i guess... 2 buried a lie

hey unfaithful ; hey ungraceful ; hey unloving ; i will love you [29 Dec 2004|11:49pm] [ mood | blank ] [ music | Underoath<3333 ] well lets see i havent updated it a long time. so im decide to try to keep my livejournal a little longer. hopefully ill get some comments on this bad boy. well me and ddanny are doing really good. ive never been happier. hes so amazing and i cant wait to spend new years eve with him<33 then hes ditch me the next day. And yeah<3 our three month is comming up. Well Christmas my Aunt sent me a present. that had a guide book about Hawaii. This summer. im going away for 22 days in hawaii then im going to Cali for a week. then i should be comming home or i might stay a couple days in VA. But ill basically be gone most of the summer. So yeah. ill be away on my birthday. But ill be spending it with my lovely cuz<33 i love her. But im afaid to go and Dan cheating on me with another girl. that would deff kill me. im so scared of that happeneing to me. Everything good other than that. i dont really talk to peage anymore. and its my fault cause im always on thwe phone with Danny now. and im sorry to peage. Like seriously this year i have like no friends. People always say lets make plans and lets hang out but we never hang out. so i basically only have danny. Hes the only one who keeps his word. Hes the only one i hang out with now. i have no other friends. its pretty sad. Ive lost Kellie.. Ive Lost Peage.. I think i lost Michelle. and ive Lost Caitlin. and they were the closest people in my life and there all gone. Matt im not close with him. im friends with him but were no where near being close again. Phil and i are starting to talk alot again. Least i know i will have one friend. Im close with pam, but we only talk in school and online we havent hung out and weve been saying we should for like months now. And me and Kim ONLY talk in should never hang out so i dont know about that one. Me and Taylor hung out once. But other than that shes bussy and we talk in school on the bus and online but we dont hang out anymore. so yeah as you can see im friendless and yeah. Kirsten i hang out with every once in a while havent hung out in a while though so i dont know. we always say were going to hang out but we havent. Shes had other plans. i think she only hangs out with me with Steve or Christina or Kellie cant. so she probably just uses me for something to do. and yeah. Me and Jeremy are starting to talk again and me and him were thinking about going on a double date when he starts to drive, so thats all cool there. well thats all i have to say right now. so yeah please comment. 4 buried a lie

[16 Dec 2004|12:01am] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | Living on a Prayer<333 ] this is dead ; i quit i love danny with all my heart<33 2 buried a lie

I didn't care that you left and abandoned me, what hurts more is i would still die for you. [04 Dec 2004|08:02am] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | Armor For Sleep ] Yesterday was amazing<33 I didn't go to school cause i woke up with a stuffy noes and a sore throat. So Danny was texting me most of the day, keeping me busy. Then when he got home, My mom and i went and picked him up. And we hung out for a little bit til my dad got home me and danny went with them to the stores. We went to Applebee's first, Dan was scared of my dad, so he didnt eat really. Then we went to Kohols(sp?). Tried on some pants for Christmas, Dan was going to look for girl pants but he didnt want to spend his money. While my parents were in there Dan and I walked over to Petco. I WANT A FERRET !!. Really bad. Then We all went to Walmart. Seen the Bobahas<33. Dan made me fall. and then we came back to my house til around 1030. Then Dan's mom came and picked him up. And then he called me and we both feel asleep on the phone like usual.<333 Today im going over Taylors house, and sleeping over there for the night. i love Taylor<333 Then Sunday, im going over Dans house.. And yeah<33 I Love Danny Macias 10~11~04 buried a lie

Let Me Out, Im Singing<33 [16 Nov 2004|07:20pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | Future Leaders Of the World<33 ] this really deserves a update. the last two days have been amazing<333 Monday: Carmine & i became friends again. that made me happy. then today made me even more happy. Matthew forgave me, that made me soo happy. like i seriously cant stop smiling now. wow. i hope me and him can become as close as we were. That would make me even more happy. thats it.. Latter 2 buried a lie

[11 Nov 2004|09:31pm] [ mood | upset ] [ music | The Exies<3 ] well today was dan & mines one month.. & he went to sayreville.. i <3 him @ 7 i went to the wake today, with Taylor & Vikki. i fell like shit. I only talked to her a couple time, and i wasnt as close as everyone else is. but i love all my friends, & im sorry to anyone i have ever been mean to or whoever i might be in a fight with. its not worth it.<3 i cant believe something like this happened. im so speech less right now i dont know what to say.. Michelle gave me a hug & it made me sOo happy<33 and another thing. the rumors about Ed Web are not true. Ed is a very sweet kid, he would NEVER say anything like that. So who ever started it should stop that cause its not right. Rip Jess.. buried a lie

We wont die... Say it again Say it again [06 Nov 2004|11:20am] [ mood | creative ] [ music | Slipknot ] yesterday was awesome<33 woke up.. talked on the phone with daniel for a little til he left then i went online and talked to Kirsten. we then made a plan to go the mall. we got to the mall around 430. meet up with these two kids Eric & Brian i think. had the most amzing time. seen alot of people there. Got home Daniel called me but i didnt want to talk cause he was at his friend Danes house and i dont like that kid. so for some reson i got into a bad mood i dont even know why. I <3 Daniel ! buried a lie

i wont let this build up inside of me<3 [04 Nov 2004|03:30pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | Slipknot ] well.. Interesting.. Peage, got me involed with this whole thing with Michelle & Nicole. which i dont want to be apart of cause i have nothing to do with it. and michelles not my friend anymore cause of that, Well the other day pj was getting into fights on the computer with Michelle Nicole & Nick so he told me to call him and i was on the phone with Dan so i called him on three way. Then i told Peage to just call Michelle and sort things out and then i said that he should call me back afterwords and ill call him back on three way but then he said he wanted me to be on the phone so he would have a witness for anything she said or he said. So he called dan then me on his house line and i called michelle and said he would say anything for me to get invole. but he told me to talk first then i siad im not going to call her. And he said please Stacey and i was like No. But i gave in. i did it, then he decaide to being me back in by asking me a question. SO yeah, Now Michelle says im nothing. Then the other day, Guy said stuff to me. He said that i should go kill myself My lifes point less im not going to live past 20 i have nothing in my life cry my eyes out im a bitch a slut and i could go on for days. no he suppostly likes someone else and started saying i found someone hotter more better than you. She doesnt bug me like you did. she doesnt always want to hang out with me, and she doesnt care if i drink. and he said hes doing much better now without me in his life. im happy for him then, i hope hes happy with her. well me and dan are doing awesome. We have got into fights at all yet thank god. hes so perfect, i love him so much<33 i dont know what i would have done if i didnt hang out with him that one day. god<33 And theres 8 Days to a Month. Im so happy. Please comment if you read this, it would mean alot to me. 6 buried a lie

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